The Role of Parents in the Recruiting Process
Interviewer: We are at the end here, but I want to ask something we have not really spent much time on yet. This comes from a recruiting coordinator, but it really applies to parents. What is the role of a parent in all of this, and what does success look like for them as they support their athlete through the recruiting process?
Corey: I think the biggest thing is simply supporting your athlete. Coaches can tell when parents are the ones writing the emails, so that is something to avoid. And honestly, I have seen situations where the parent wants it more than the athlete, and college coaches pick up on that very quickly.
I have even heard coaches say after watching a match that they are not sure the kid actually wants it. So the parent role really needs to stay in that supportive lane. Be encouraging, help with perspective, and every now and then offer a reality check when needed.
For example, I help my own daughter look at schools that might be a fit and make suggestions, but I try not to be pushy about it. It is more about guiding than directing.
Susan: I am actually in a similar place personally. I have an eighth grader, so I am already thinking about what this might look like for him one day.
I think a helpful mindset for parents is to understand what your athlete is naturally good at, and where they will need support in the recruiting process. Some athletes are great at being proactive and sending emails, but may struggle with deeper communication when coaches respond. Others may be less organized and need help staying on track.
As a parent, your role can be helping them grow in those areas, but not doing it for them.
I really like the idea of providing your athlete with bricks, not building the entire road for them. You can provide support, resources, and opportunities, but they need to be the ones who ultimately walk the path.
If you build the entire path for them, eventually the process breaks down when they are expected to handle things on their own. College coaches want to see that independence. They want to see the athlete communicate directly, book their own training when possible, and take ownership of their development.
Allison: I always say recruiting is a team sport, and the athlete is the team captain.
It is unrealistic to expect athletes to handle everything completely on their own, especially early in the process. They may not know what to do yet, or they may be overwhelmed or hesitant. That is where support comes in.
But at the same time, it should not fall entirely on the parent either. The athlete still needs to be the one leading the process.
This is where clear expectations matter a lot. One of the most common issues I see is that parents assume the athlete is handling outreach, while the athlete assumes the parent is managing things behind the scenes. That disconnect creates stress later.
It is much better to sit down early and talk through roles. Maybe the athlete is responsible for emails and highlight reels, while the parent helps with logistics or feedback. The exact split does not matter as much as making it clear.
When expectations are defined early, everything runs more smoothly, and you avoid having to fix misalignment later in the process.